If there is one thing you can never get right – it’s parenting!

And that’s cause there is no right way of doing it anyway. Without learning or sometimes even reading enough about it, one day we become parents. There starts the journey of pretentious expertise – as if we are just supposed to know how it works!

What we seem to forget is this – when a child is born, a parent is born too.

So, as an eight-year-old parent of my eight-year-old twins, I must confess that I’ve had a blast learning, unlearning and relearning with them. Making mistakes and quickly getting back on feet has been pretty much a daily rigour but the ride has been fun for the love it entails.

Conscious parenting has helped me to get more things in order than I would’ve otherwise managed. Here is what has worked for me and might just, for you too:

Be open to learning new things –

Go easy on yourself, knowing that you are growing as a parent, at the pace with which your child is growing to be an adult. So, as much as I teach a few new things to my ‘lil ones, I’m just as open to learning new things from them too. And I do.

A huge personal learning for me has been to ‘walk the talk’. My duo of careful listeners bring back a few statements I make when they feel the need to remind me of it – and I am forever thankful to them for that. And of course, they are miles ahead with a lot of things I’m yet to catch up with – like their code (abbreviation)lingo and the world of online games!

Asking them for what I genuinely don’t know (and that list is growing like how) has made them believe that no one does, can or perhaps even need to know everything. And it’s ok to say that you don’t know when you don’t – a lesson I learnt the hard way in my life.


Back in the 20th century, parents seeking an apology from their young children wasn’t really a thing. So unfortunate! Apologizing is a good thing. It means you are aware of your fault. It’s a courageous trait, isn’t it? Can the weak apologize? Whenever I make a mistake, I’m quick at accepting and owning it up and apologizing. And that is what my kids do too. With kids these days, preaching does not help; practising does.

Don’t be over-protective –

One of the biggest mistakes we can make as parents is to be over-protective. We so badly want to ensure their safety that we don’t let them go out of their comfort zone. What we fail to understand is that our over-protective nature will only stymie their growth. Allow them to make mistakes, let them get a little hurt, encourage their curiosity, for that is how they will learn.

I have noticed many parents discouraging their children from doing this or that because THEY believe it’s a wrong thing to do. Preparing them too much takes away their real preparation to handle the tough time in store. Life is not a bed of roses for anyone, and thank God for that! Plucking every thorn from their way is setting them up for a disaster to be wounded deeply the day life pricks – an inevitable eventuality.


Allowing them to take the road less travelled might allow them to create their destiny – after all, no matter the age gap, we are struggling to get that piece right, ain’t it?

Punishment is unfair –

As parents, we want our children to be frank with us and think of us as their friends. But d’you know when kids start hiding things from their parents? They hide things when they believe that confession would lead to severe punishment.

Honestly, I see my role as a parent to be one of a facilitator for my kids. I am a provider, a protector and support. Beyond this, aligning them to ‘my right’ is largely driven by my ego and righteousness.

While there are no universal rights & wrongs, there are certain societal expectations we must understand and adhere to. To that extent, bring stern could be a way for me to fulfil this responsibility as a parent. Now it depends on what you consider that stern-method to be – a Punishment or something else. One of the methods used by my Father to punish me was the ‘no talk’ method. It was simple; He’d stop talking to me for a few minutes. May not seem like a punishment, but ask me how effective that was!

While there is no apt method to punish your child, hitting should not even be considered. Among other things, it can have a psychological impact on your child. They may grow up believing that if others don’t listen to them, hitting can do the job.

Imagination –

If there’s one thing (of many) at which your kids are better than you, it’s at using their imagination. They don’t see things the way we do. Unlike in the case of adults, their imagination is not corrupted or influenced. Their imagination is original and creative. It’s their superpower which, unfortunately, gets diluted as they grow up. How to fuel it? Quite simple – encourage them.

Let them tinker with non-dangerous things or ideas. Let them create music using utensils, let them invent a new game, let them talk to other living species. Just know that the more restrictions we put on their way, the more confined their imagination would become as they grow up. After all, the sky can also be Pink!

Responsibility –

As parents, we often burden ourselves with the intention to make our children perfect. If they commit a mistake, we blame ourselves for it. That wouldn’t just affect you, but the children as well. The responsibility of a parent is to provide good guidance and adequate resources to their kids. Whether they follow your guidance or use your resources depends on them.

As much as you should know what they are doing, you don’t need to know everything they are up to. We need to understand that children aren’t stupid. They do realise what’s right and what’s wrong. You don’t have to be a Molly Weasley or a Jim Hopper. In case if you don’t know who they are, ask your kids ; )

Though I might be doing a few things right, am sure there are a few mistakes I’ve yet to realise. It’s a beautiful journey and the beauty enhances when we are open to learning from each other, as parents.

So please share what makes you a rocking parent? What are your take-aways from this life-changing and eternal role of a parent?